Hello world, I am an introvert.
I get anxious getting ready for parties and always end up putting on way too much makeup in an effort to hide every possible inch of vulnerable skin. Not to mention, I get overdressed.
Two days ago my boyfriend threw a party. It started at 9pm, and I was there by 6pm. I had on extraordinarily bright makeup in sunset hues with fake lashes and a pretty kickin’ contour. I was wearing a black bodycon dress. My ass looked great and I was ready for a night out.
I was not ready for a home party out in the stix. Oops.
I was overdressed, laughed too loud, drank too much, smoked even more, and I definitely isolated myself. I even went to bed before the party ended regardless of the fact that I was sleeping in the same house. I actually had a blast.
I left two or three times during the party for my quiet space, so I could gather my thoughts, relax, pull myself together, and head back out into the din.
My boyfriend is an extrovert. He doesn’t need a break. He can keep going all night long, wake up in the morning, and do it all again. The stamina on this guy never ceases to amaze.
When I left for my breaks, he seemed confused and worried.
Was I getting anxious? Was I not enjoying myself? Was I too drunk? Why wasn’t I with the others?
All I could say is that I was sleepy and needed a minute. Or y’know, 15 minutes.
And that was that. He immediately got it, and went on to enjoying his party. I really appreciate that. I appreciate a lot of things about him, but first and foremost is his usually innate ability to understand.
I don’t need to explain myself, he just nods, holds me, and we get on with our lives. The empathic extrovert gets the introvert. Its really quite nice. Side track over.
The party. Parties. And how I feel about them.
I, the self proclaimed introvert, really actually enjoy parties. But more specifically, I really enjoy the few days after a party where everything feels very cleansing. Right now, for example, I am post-shower in just a towel and a very cleansing face mask. I’ve been drinking a lot of water today and eating lots of fruit. Cleansing.
I like being curled up in bed, listening to the rain and music (Sorority Noise – You’re Not As ____ As You Think), snuggled up with my cat and seeing how much water I can down.
I especially like to do this with someone who will just lay there with me, holding me or smoothing down my hair, not talking, entirely enveloped in their own world of interest.
Basically what I’m getting at is this. I am an introvert who likes parties on my own terms. I need post-party relaxation, and that is exactly what I am doing. There is no shame in needing time set aside for yourself to be alone with your thoughts and feelings. That’s exactly what I am doing now. Mental vomit on a computer to help relieve anxiety and process what I’m feeling.
I’m feeling pretty okay. I’m glad I started writing.
Thanks for reading,
Michaela, the introvert who likes parties sometimes.